everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Everyone says I win the strip club
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
