My girlfriend figured out who you are.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
