i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Fuck appropriateness.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
