Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
