I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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