Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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