before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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