"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My liver is preforming stress tests.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
