Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
