the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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