In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
