Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
