did you get engaged???
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
