What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
