i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
