he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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