The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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