Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's never too late to be topless.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
