she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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