We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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