her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
