So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize