Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Randomize
