This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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