You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
