I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
