doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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