Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

which gay bar do you need a ride home from?

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(503): View more from Oregon

I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...

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(856): View more from New Jersey

And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated

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(703): View more from Virginia

they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.

(847): View more from Illinois

It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.

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(631): View more from New York

Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"

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(509): View more from Washington

We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.

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(305): View more from Florida

The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.

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