i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
