i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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