Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
