turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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