you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
