did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
