remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
