Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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