When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
