i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
