just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
