he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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