She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I wish life had little blips of pornography
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
