Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
