Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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