think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize