it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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