did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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