we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
