seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
