U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize