get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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