I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
