four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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