i dont even know how to be here
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
