Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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