My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
