I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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