all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
