it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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