dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
