Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
