Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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