My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
