can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just gargled with NyQuil
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
