Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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