I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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