OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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