Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
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Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
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Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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