Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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