Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
