I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
