hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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