kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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